guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
