me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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