We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
