I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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