I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
