dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
