i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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