Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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