They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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