i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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