I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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