Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
