I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
