it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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