I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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