I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
