the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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