I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
