Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She needs sedatives and a leash
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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