i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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