Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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