FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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