Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
