Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someone's got a whale tail

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  A thong is hangin out?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No, a fatty following them

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  (314): Someone's got a whale tail (1-314): A thong is hangin out? (314): No, a fatty following them http://tfl.nu/cyed
  Replies (8) Good night (1190) Bad night (1375)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

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  (267): census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you http://tfl.nu/5ryg
  Replies (23) Good night (1035) Bad night (2160)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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  (862): found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later" http://tfl.nu/lryz
  Replies (19) Good night (10633) Bad night (1938)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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  (917): M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/5zhv
  Replies (22) Good night (7411) Bad night (1206)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

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  (313): The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two. http://tfl.nu/ya0u
  Replies (31) Good night (6795) Bad night (1329)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

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  (716): I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing. http://tfl.nu/wqpy
  Replies (7) Good night (4267) Bad night (1209)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

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  (641): I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob. http://tfl.nu/r7qm
  Replies (9) Good night (812) Bad night (3927)
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  (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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  (707): They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR. (705): I NEED to see if his girl has a sister. http://tfl.nu/ou19
  Replies (9) Good night (2930) Bad night (912)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.

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  (570): I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight. http://tfl.nu/86fz
  Replies (7) Good night (1011) Bad night (569)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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  (720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (445)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

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  (913): Don't make emojis simulating eating me out http://tfl.nu/tdiy
  Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (468)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms

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  (330): God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms http://tfl.nu/9eem
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (506)
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  (858): View more from California

  Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.

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  (858): Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station. http://tfl.nu/uxsr
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (364)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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  (630): my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation." http://tfl.nu/ju2j
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (403)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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  (717): WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY http://tfl.nu/nywf
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (373)

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