Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.