Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

  (415): View more from California

  be there in 3 mins

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  (408): carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit. (415): be there in 3 mins http://tfl.nu/00q0
  Replies (26) Good night (3515) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1584) Bad night (4367)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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  (415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye
  Replies (13) Good night (592) Bad night (4564)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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  (504): Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid. http://tfl.nu/2kcb
  Replies (20) Good night (800) Bad night (4275)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

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  (925): Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/fkde
  Replies (47) Good night (5522) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  vagina is talking i cant

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  (845): vagina is talking i cant http://tfl.nu/cyjf
  Replies (37) Good night (3634) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4086) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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  (267): I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/0qfz
  Replies (25) Good night (5428) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.

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  (206): Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/drhd
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (2883)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT

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  (615): ...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT http://tfl.nu/kbbi
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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  (504): If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life. http://tfl.nu/0spe
  Replies (9) Good night (2155) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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  (270): Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband. http://tfl.nu/lfj6
  Replies (10) Good night (2075) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal

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  (905): I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal http://tfl.nu/u38b
  Replies (6) Good night (1925) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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  (407): Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore. http://tfl.nu/4mr1
  Replies (23) Good night (2265) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.

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  (303): Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos. http://tfl.nu/xwgl
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (448)

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