So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.