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Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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