ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?