i just had sex bonerless
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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