Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
