so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
