Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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