a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
