tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
