i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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