I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
