went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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