You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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