I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize