maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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