The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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