If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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