fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize