Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
