Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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