If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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