My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
