Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you would pick up someone in the library
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
