i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
