True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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