Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Found your dick twin last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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