Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
