sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm sobbing to NWA
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
