Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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