first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
