Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
