I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
