Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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