but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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