How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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