dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
