I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
