its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize