Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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