she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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