I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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