As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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