she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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