I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
