I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize