reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
